Dear fellow students and readers,
we truly hope that the past few months back at University have been filled with alcohol, ecstatic dancing in clubs, making new friends (who are as weird as you,) exciting hook-up sessions followed by horrific hangovers, day trips and adventures, lazy TV and food days where you promised you’d do work (this probably accounts for 80% of your time) and sleeping through your lectures! Why? Because all of this must have been worth (and we all know it was) ignoring all the work now awaiting you before … DADADUMMMM… EXAMS!
But fear not! We are ready and about to give you some irreplaceable advice on how to survive during the prime period of your course during which you will actually acquire some knowledge about what you are studying. Easy though...You will most likely have spent your holidays at home, taking at least a week to chill out and concentrate on family and friends. You may have had a ‘pet chat’ with your dog, goldfish or whatever animal you have accepted into your family as yet another sibling. Bombarded your mum with compliments about her cooking, because let’s face it, her food tastes like heaven compared to all the plain cheesy pasta and baked beans dishes you’ve been living off. And naturally told your friends about all the crackbrained shit you did over the past months, trying to convince them that your uni without a doubt is the place to be!
That may already seem like a distant memory but rest assured the next couple of days will fly by and that there is no point in postponing your revision anymore (unless you want to fail the year of course which is also an option – we are not judging!) Most of you are sitting on your parent’s or the government’s money so you might as well make the best of it; unless you have a talent that will guarantee you a secure spot in Hollywood to make money that is! But don’t panic! Exams might seem like the gateway to hell but it is only a matter of how you view them. Here’s some advice on how to have the most productive (and fun) time whilst studying for your exams:
- Go shopping (with your mum) before starting work. And by shopping we do not mean bags, clothes and shoes no no! FOOOOOOOOD! You will need LOADS for your study period including; Haribo, chocolate, crisps, bananas, apples, blueberries, nuts, seeds (yeah…let’s pretend we are healthy human beings who believe in brain food!) and energy drinks! Please be careful with the latter though, people react differently to this stuff. There is the ever-present danger of entering a hyper state with laughing fits lasting for hours (at that point you might as well stop studying and start taking ‘shrooms…)
- Do not shut out everyone while you are studying. Of course you are allowed to be a studious caveman/woman in your little study burrow but once in a while, do come out and socialize (even if it’s just with your pet) – we promise it’ll make you feel like somewhere out there you still have a life.
- Get out of bed. We know, that’s the hard part: Bed is too warm and comfy, the house feels like you’ve just woken up in Siberia because none of your student household can afford to put the heating on. Say you plan to be up and ready to tackle the next mountain of extra reading and lecture slides at 10 (sounds like the perfect median between being too keen and too lazy), set your alarm for 8.30. That gives you enough time to get so wound up about the snooze button on your alarm clock you will actually get out of bed.
- Stop pretending that looking all stylish will help you gain those few extra marks. Forget make-up and hairstyles, onesies and pyjamas, oversized jumpers and joggers for the win. It is highly unlikely Prince Charming will come and find you during exam period to take you away on a dreamy ball anyways…he’ll be too busy revising too!
- Become acquainted with the library. We know most of you just pulled a slightly dubious face questioning our sanity but once you’ve been, it seems less like a sea-monster wanting to swallow you alive. Not only do you have all the resources on-site, but (and insiders will be aware of this) the library is often the place with the highest density of fit girls and hot boys anywhere on campus. Don’t believe it? Check it out yourself! Don’t dare to tell the hot blonde across the room who seems oh-so-immersed in her studies you fancy her? Take a break and visit your uni’s equivalent of Spotted: Loughborough University to send in an anonymous post about your fellow sufferers.
With that, we must return to our own revision and leave you to your hours of panicking, reading the same page a million times because you simply cannot focus, last-minute cramming and overeating. After all, we’re all in this together (thank you Highschool Musical, you have taught us this mantra well!) And in the end, it’ll be over sooner than you fear and celebratory drinks will let you forget the time you put your social life on hold.
Good luck everyone!
Good luck everyone!
