There comes a time in life when you are on an emotional voyage… by this we mean that your hormones will be inviting you to “fair” game of trick or treat! Get acquainted with a bit of advice on how to behave when bewildered by the following emotions:
1) Disinterest:
in case of disinterest it is important to make your counterpart feel as if what he/she is talking about is the only thing that matters to you, thus train yourself to be able to talk with one other voice apart from your normal voice- it should be fairly high and extremely agitated. Now, never stop looking at your counterpart, have your eyes wide open and sit upright. Are you actually listening to what he/she says?-Of course not! You. Just. Stare.
If the person asks you a question you respond with your 2nd voice, nod impetously in agreement and choose one of the following answers:
“toooooootalllyyyy….”
“you fuckin’ with meee??”
“aha,yeah aha..alrigh..yeeeeah …AHA YEEEAH”
“fresh.”
Result: the person will soon get annoyed and will stop talking to you. Goal achieved you can go back and do what you were doing before being unnecessarily disturbed.
2) True excitement:
In the case that you heard/saw/felt something that you feel strongly about and your face turns red as a tomato and you may even hyperventilate, keep one thing in mind: DO NOT SHOW IT.
Why? Dude, because it makes you super uncool and in the end you may be even be deluded.
Thus, keep a calm face, think of something sad and just respond with “quality.” Don’t show ANY emotions. Then you slowly leave the room in a very orderly and slow manner making everyone stare at you in AWE.
BUT it is not over: We agree that there is no one who can truly keep his excitement forever. Thus, in a next step you go search your best mate and here you are free to EXPLODE: scream and jump around, make strange noises to show that you are so excited you’re not even human anymore.
3) Severe depression
Yes. We all know the days where we found out that every single dress you thought looked hot on the mannequin in the shop window makes you look horrible, where you have eaten a ton of junk for to overcome frustration, and where you have discovered that a) you gained weight around your hips but b) decreased in bra size. Those days make you feel like you’re in some shit hole place. But – it’s fine. After calling your best friend (who obviously totally gets what you’re on about), you put on a huge jumper, get some food and crawl into bed watching either your favourite series or you start facebook stalking. When going for option b, facebook stalking remember: don’t stalk the amazing girls with beautiful dresses that look good in every single fricken picture. Go for the leekish, ugly ones that make you feel better about yourself. This mood gives you permission to be this selfish and rude. Also, it’s okay to scream at your siblings in case they dare disturb or annoy you.
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