The WEEkend.

Thank US, it's weekend.

 It's been a tough week?

You got up insanely early and then of course went to bed extremely late?

You've worked your butt off?

...Well..... GET READY PEOPLE 'CAUSE IT'S SATURDAY. 

You're so exhausted from the week and all you wanna do is sleep? TOUGH LUCK buddy, you won't be getting any this weekend! It's time to get fully TOASTED.

ATTENTION: Here is some advice concerning your night out. 

When being drunk;

Your enemy: tells you to shut the fuck up.
The one you dislike: tells you to get outta here.

The one who thinks he knows you: tells you to drink a glass of water and lay down
A good friend: tells you it’s enough now, you better stop, he/she’s going to get you home.

Your best friend: is totally shit-faced and asks you to have another drink.

If you’re drunk and are in the mood for the shift, just say so, the rest lies with your mate’s abilities of finding out which guy is suitable- avoid guys that follow this pattern of characteristics: desperate ones, <<you’re the love of my life..>>- ones, in search for a serious relationship- type of guys, blondes with curly hair( cheeky bastards!), boring ones, guys with a weird mouth shape (you never know where that might have come from..),I’m-proud-of-my-beer-belly-ones. Everything else is just a matter of taste really!

You are in an aggressive, drunken mood and have no one to start a fight with apart from your best friend..? Well, get going and start throwing some ridiculous insults at her/him, try not to laugh and imitate a mental breakdown if he(she asks you for something. Treat him/her as your slave, boss them around and give ‘em dirty looks… after all if they really are your best friends, they’ll understand and play their part.

When wondering where your brain cells have gone to after a mad weekend packed with booze and birds, get yourself some nice SPIEGEL TV CDs and watch it with your mate. Exclusive hint: Choose topics which are discussable and provoke strong feelings- you will have an awesome philosophical debate over it.

- Enjoy!